{my attempt to capture 52 photos that represent trust – my word for 2011}.

this photo represents trust for a few reasons.

one: i do love my home. i feel safe there. safe to be, safe to be me. i've been thinking about the people who will live in this apartment after i leave, whenever that is, and how they are so lucky because they will be getting a space that will be full of the most amazing energy.

two: for a long while now, i've been idly wondering how to bring more light into my living room. a few weeks ago, i had a vision of a canopy of twinkle lights. oh my goodness, the vision was beautiful. as is usual, the vision looked slightly different in my head (slightly more magical, i must confess) than it did in reality – it might need a few more tweaks before i am done – but the lights definitely add even more warmth and coziness to the long dark evenings.

three: i am trusting that time and energy spent on this project is not a distraction from the millions of other projects i could be working on in each moment – that working on it is helping with everything else i do, even if i cannot see how just yet.

won't you come for a walk with puppy and me?

oh, how i wish you could.

the sun is shining. the air is crisp. it is the perfect day to be outside and let the calm of the world around us soothe the chaos inside of us.

before i head out the door, a couple of quick announcements:

if you wish your life had a pause button so you could rest a bit, check out the pause. there's a special on through the end of december and i do have some openings.

also, i added the november/december collection of prints to the shop. they are joy, peace, and gratitude.

happy thursday!

yes, there is a reason you cannot see his face. i was in the middle of a project involving a very long strand of twinkle lights. atlas was very unsure about it so i was trying to make him smile. it did not work.

which has nothing to do with anything, only i felt like sharing it.

apparently i am on an iphone kick. i took my iphone and atlas on an errand to the light bulb store on mississippi ave and then we wandered around the neighborhood afterward. does that second photo not make you think of the book the secret garden? i thought so.

remember when i shared my opinions about diet coke and pickles? well, here's the next topic that needs to be discussed. it is pumpkin and raisins, people; not pumpkin and chocolate chips.

everywhere i go, every autumn, there are pumpkin-y things that include chocolate. i do not understand this combination. it's too sweet and too dry (the dry part probably makes no sense to anyone but me but i can't think of a better way to explain it).

pumpkin and raisins, on the other hand, are a perfect combination. it is not too sweet and the raisins make the dough a little juicy. my most favorite cookies in the world are pumpkin raisin cookies. i can eat an entire batch in one sitting. sometimes i do. (i suppose that's obvious, or else i wouldn't know that i could.)

i used to discuss this with the great harvest bread store. every year, they made a pumpkin bread with chocolate chips. every year, i would explain to them that it needed to include raisins, not chocolate chips. alas, they never quite agreed. sometimes they agreed that raisins would be good, but they said that people really seemed to like the chocolate.

i find this so strange. why would you eat pumpkin and chocolate when you could eat pumpkin and raisins? pumpkin and raisins for everyone, i say!

i was trying to take a very specific photo for my trust project this week. sadly, the wind and the leaves and my camera did not align properly, thus there is no trust photo at all. but i was outdoors and it was not raining and fall was in the air, so i was still a happy happy girl.

the lovely thing about having a place that i visit regularly is that i get to watch how it changes with each season. i know we can see this in our own neighborhood, but somehow the changes seem more visible to me when they occur in a place that i see often, but not daily.

do you have a place like this?

i celebrate thanksgiving in my own way.

i celebrate the idea of thanks giving year round. i celebrate the day with three of my favorite things: atlas, a hike, and cooking. the ritual started when i worked too much and didn't want to leave atlas alone on thanksgiving day. now, i just think it's a lovely way to spend the day. this year, there will be no hike and i am making nachos instead of cooking; the pup and i both need to rest.

i was thinking about thanks giving when i found this quote. it perfectly sums up how i feel about the idea of trying to express my gratitude in one succinct blog post, or in one day, or at all.

"Gratitude is one of the least articulate of the emotions, especially when it is deep." - Felix Frankfurter

yes. that. exactly.

may your day be full of peace, love, and laughter.

i have decided that the definition for woebegone needs to include a picture of atlas wearing a t-shirt. doesn't he look miserable? i hated to do it, but he had a wound that needed to heal and would not stop licking it, and i finally got tired of shouting no at him.

if i ever wonder why i cannot get my dream bedding, i just need to look at this picture of muddy paw prints on the bed. (i feel like this photo does not even do the mud justice.) why is it that a) my brilliant rainy day ideas always involve a very wet and muddy dog and b) the same wet and muddy dog likes to dry himself off on my bed? i suspect that pre-atlas-me would think current-me has lost her sanity because current-me just looks at the paw prints and smiles because she is so happy that she has an atlas pup to track mud on the bed.

the trees on my side of the street have leaves that turn orange in the fall. the trees on the other side of the street have leaves that turn red.

the leaves were slow to turn color this year. when i left on friday for the painting retreat, there was only a hint of color in amongst the green. i came home on tuesday night and when i left to pick up atlas the next day, it felt like the trees had exploded with orange and red.

it was magnificent.

of course, a strong wind and rain blew in that night, ushering in the beginning of the end.

but it was still magnificent.

my intention for the month of december (i realize it's not december, i started early) is to take really really really good care of myself.

(actually, this was supposed to be my intention for the quarter – the quality i am working with is wholeness. better late than never, right?)

the trouble with this particular intention is that i have a hard time taking good care of myself, let alone really really really good care of myself. i am better at it than i used to be, but it's still an ongoing practice.

the other day, in a fit of inspiration, it occurred to me that this might be more fun if i pretended that i was my very own butler. named jeeves, of course. have you read the book wake up, sir by jonathan ames? jeeves is the main character's butler and my inspiration.

i tell you, having a butler is the best thing ever. i wish i had hired one years ago. he is so kind and caring and thoughtful.

last night, i was so much in flow that i forgot to eat dinner and worked at my computer for so long that my back ached and ached. i really needed jeeves to remind me to eat and to get up every so often, but apparently i gave him the evening off.

a very sad and dejected me-this-morning: "jeeves???"

jeeves: "i'm sorry to hear that you had a rough evening, sir. maybe a round of yoga would set you right? i'll put a fleece blanket nearby in case the idea appeals to you.

also, i noticed that you took an aleve this morning; might i suggest that you rest today? i will wash the dishes later and put another load of laundry going, but we can save the other things until tomorrow. if you rest this morning, maybe you will feel like going for a hike later. it is such a lovely day and you always feel better when you're outdoors.

by the way, you are out of aleve, so you are going to want to visit new seasons later and buy aleve and toilet paper. you know you will think about both of them until they're purchased. i'd go for you, but i know how much you enjoy grocery shopping. maybe you can also buy yourself some more stuffing and have it for dinner."

me: "that does sound nice. thank you, jeeves!"

jeeves: "you're very welcome, sir."

(isn't he kind and caring and thoughtful? he always has the best suggestions.)

(and yes, jeeves refers to me as sir. i refuse to be called ma'am, and jeeves refuses to call me sweetie. sir was a good compromise.)

{my attempt to capture 52 photos that represent trust – my word for 2011}.

i think my year of trust has ended. really, it's been done for a while now.

not that the year has ended, or that i don't care about trust anymore, or that i am always full of trust, or that i am ending my photo project early.

it's not even that things have significantly changed in my external world since the beginning of the year.

it's more that something has shifted in me.

there is a sense of trust in me that wasn't there before. there are moments when i lose it, of course, but i always circle back again.

it feels really good.