i still remember you.

you come to my mind
in what seem like
the most random of moments.

like when i see an image of a space shuttle launch.

i remember
watching a space shuttle
(maybe the challenger?)
on your tiny tv.

or when they play an old michael jackson song on the radio.

i remember
seeing a blank tape
on the shelf
next to the bed.
you had written
michael jackson
on the side of it.
i was a little jealous
and i wondered
whether grama & grampa approved.

or when i eat those sweet & buttery & yellow butterscotch candies.

(except
i haven’t eaten them
in years
so i guess
it’s really when i think of them.)

the funeral home
had
a bowl full.
we were allowed to have
one
every hour.

and sometimes, when i look up at the stars in the sky.

(i always whisper
hello
and wave silently.)

i wonder:
if we are all made
of the same stuff as stars,
do we return there?
and if so,
are you twinkling up above me somewhere?

i wonder:
can you see us?
do you look down on us?
do you know that i am thinking of you?

if you do,
i hope
it makes you smile
to know that
your memory
is forever intertwined in my memory
with space shuttles
and michael jackson
and butterscotch candies
and stars.