Photo by Elizabeth Halt
Photo by Elizabeth Halt

hello, old friend

October 19, 2012

at the beginning of the year, i started a conversation about beauty.

i had been wanting to talk about beauty for a long time, but there were things in the way. i talked about some of them.

i thought that post was just the beginning and that i would continue the conversation. after all, i think about beauty all the time. after all, i have lots of things i want to tell you about beauty.

and yet here we are, nine months later, and i haven’t continued the conversation at all.

i knew something was in the way, but i didn’t know what it was.

until the moment i did.

it turns out that i can’t talk about beauty because i’m not beautiful.

this seems like such a puzzling reason.

for one: physical beauty, as defined by other people or society or culture, or by our impression of ourself based on those definitions, is not what i want to talk about at all. it is completely unrelated to what i am thinking about when i think about beauty. i talked about this in the initial conversation.

for two: one of the things i believe to be true of beauty is that it is a quality of the soul and, as such, we are all beautiful. it seems the height of hubris to imagine that i am somehow the one exception.

the good thing about letting the unconscious become conscious is that often, those thoughts dissolve in the light of day. this was one of them. i wrote this in my journal on wednesday and immediately followed it with a number of blog posts about beauty. i felt moved to share this before i begin. again.

10 comments... (add a comment)

  1. This such tender sharing, Elizabeth… When we come into our physical beauty as it is along with our inner beauty (I love what called this, “quality of the soul”–so true) we walk more in beauty. That sounds simple enough. But it takes time to come into our own beauty–to really appreciate who we are, what we have to give. I went through most of my life feeling like I was nothing special, not beautiful in any way. It wasn’t until I came to be on the spiritual path I’m on that I slowly began to honor my own being and presence in the world. You are BEAUTIFUL already, Elizabeth. I hope you will embrace that and all your wonder. :o) ((HUGS))

    • elizabeth

      Finding and honoring your spirit does seem important!

      Very little children also seem to recognize their own inherent beauty and wonder. It’s a shame we have to forget it along the way and then re-remember it again.

  2. To me, the true definition of ‘beauty’ is a beautiful mind and how it relates to one’s fellow human beings, animals and to the natural world.
    A gift that sadly, many do not possess in these increasingly superficial times.

    I don’t know you personally Elizabeth, (wish I had the pleasure), but to me, you have indeed a beautiful mind and soul.
    This is evident in your wonderfully inspirational blog.
    You show us your beauty – it is clear and resonant.

  3. “…because i’m not beautiful.” That is a belief…your belief. It is not a FACT. I’ve never met you. I’ve never seen you in person. But I have read you. I understand your feelings for Atlas. And I know for a FACT that you are beautiful.

    All that is left is for you to believe it!

    • elizabeth

      That’s a beautiful distinction! I was thinking last night that these sorts of beliefs are like old friends. Well, sort of, I do love my old friends. But more in that, once upon a time, I thought they were facts. Now, I quickly remember that they are a story, and one that feels less and less true each time it surfaces.

  4. Not perfect, but beautiful! Don’t confuse the two.

  5. Oh how beautiful!
    I love your observations on beauty Elizabeth and your pohtotographs of beauty.
    I so look forward to them arriving.

    I love this phenomena you talk about too…how delightful and delightfully effortless to have thoughts like those just up and dissolve

    “the good thing about letting the unconscious become conscious is that often, those thoughts dissolve in the light of day. this was one of them.”

    So happy you’re experiencing this phenomena.

  6. tammy j

    i am late getting here.
    my heart has been hurt from others bearing loss lately.
    but to come to this little place of beauty and healing and creative source . . . and to hear (for i hear your words as i read them)
    to hear you say
    “it turns out that i can’t talk about beauty
    because i am not beautiful.”
    i am quiet with incredulity.
    what a big horrible word that simply means
    ‘you don’t know what you’re saying. you can’t mean it!!!’
    you’re a rare spirit elizabeth.
    the world of sham and hardness and brittle
    faux beauty is not your world. NEVER measure yourself by its standards. its stupid beauty.
    jerry is right. everyone is right here in
    what they’ve said!

    and by the end of thinking it through . . .
    i think you knew the truth.
    it’s just that i even hated to hear you say it at all.
    love dear heart,
    tam

  7. tammy j

    as if my comment above weren’t LONG enough!lol.
    i just came back by as i so often do with your posts . . . until the next new one . . .
    and i linked back to your ‘conversation about
    beauty.’
    and elizabeth ~ it’s a tour de force!
    it’s SO beautiful!!! i am saving it in my favorites. thank you!

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