Photo by Elizabeth Halt
Photo by Elizabeth Halt

apparently i have a daily practice

October 10, 2011

DSC_0975

do you know that i have done a reiki session for myself every single day for over three years?

i've been thinking about this lately because i've been thinking about my reiki offer (a way to help you pause and refill your well using reiki).

occasionally, i feel moved to mention the offer. otherwise, i trust that the right people for the offer will find their way there when the time is right. that is how i found my way to everything that has been helpful to me, including reiki, and it is the way that feels right for my offer.

at the same time, i often shy away from mentioning the offer even when i feel moved to do so. it turns out that there are reasons for this.

one reason is that i very much do not want to try to convince anyone to try reiki. i went through my dark night of the soul, as it were, as part of my experience with reiki. while it was worth it to be here in this place, i would not wish the hard of that on anyone.

that's why i've been thinking about my daily reiki sessions. it occurred to me that my experience was different; it did not involve the occasional session. i tried reiki and then took the first class and then the second class and then the master class. i have done a reiki session for myself every single day since that first class, over three years ago now. some days, i give myself more than one. i can no more imagine not doing it than i can imagine not brushing my teeth.

i cannot even believe that i have done this for three years. i generally think of myself as undisciplined and uncommitted and yet somehow, i committed to this without even thinking about it.

(there are other reasons why i don't want to try to convince people to try reiki. reasons like, people vary. or, i believe that we all have our own path and i will never try to tell you that my path is right for you. or, all roads lead to rome – as in, i'm pretty sure i could have found my way to this place any number of ways; reiki just happened to be the way i stumbled upon.)

another reason is that i don't know how to talk about my experience. well, other than in bits and pieces: i don't chew my nails, i don't hate myself, i don't need steroids to be around cats, i can sing higher notes again.

i was hoping to finally talk about my experience a little but it turns out that i still cannot find the words, even if i give myself permission to talk about it awkwardly and inadequately.

still, maybe this is enough for now. i guess doing something every day for three years says something about my experience, even without saying anything else. (then again, i have brushed my teeth at least twice a day every single day for what feels like a million years, and yet i still have a cavity.)

8 comments... (add a comment)

  1. Tracy

    VERY interesting, Elizabeth! And yes, that would be a practice. Sometime experience can’t be defined by words, or that it feels like there’s not enough words for them. I think that’s OK. And that devotion to something which helps you find balance is a very good thing. Maybe we don’t need to name everything? Perhaps it is all we need to just know, feel… This has me thinking. :o) Happy Week, my friend ((HUGS))

  2. tammy

    i just ‘happened’ onto reiki too. but i do not practice it everyday. i think the way you do it is the best way… ongoing health and insight rather than like … oh i feel bad today, so think i’ll do reiki!
    i also found a site that did reiki to the sound of a fountain in the background and little birds chirping softly as if they were high up in the trees. the sound of the water with them… beautiful! have not been able to find it since.
    a nose kiss for atlas,
    tammy j

  3. Becky

    Wonderful for you, sometimes it’s hard to see the improvements day to day but it’s great when you step back and see how far you’ve come. I’m so glad you’ve found things that make you feel whole and good! hugs :)

  4. Helen

    wow, 3 years! and you aren’t quite a million years old yet, so you can’t have been brushing your teeth for that long;)

  5. elizabeth @ retinal perspectives

    @helen: i was sure you would agree that i am practically a million, lol.
    @becky: so true. it is good to step back every so often.
    @tammy: that site sounds beautiful. i’ll keep my eye out. maybe one of us will stumble upon it someday.
    @tracy: now you’ve got me thinking. maybe my need to name things is similar to my wanting to know why. i do so like to know why. 😉

  6. A year and a half ago I was involved in a serious car accident caused by an inattentive 19-year-old. My car was totaled and I was lucky to be alive. For awhile it was tough for me to drive anywhere but I’m fortunate to have a wonderful massage therapist in my life who performed reiki shortly after my accident and it helped tremendously. I don’t know how it works but it does.

  7. I guess I’m confused what Reiki is. I thought it was a form of massage. But if that’s the case, you can’t do it on yourself. Is it more meditation?

  8. elizabeth @ retinal perspectives

    @chris: that’s exactly what i say about it.
    @laura: answered in email, but for anyone else: kind of sort of both, kind of sort of not really either one. it can be done via the laying on of hands – light touch on various parts of the body. but it can also be done at a distance – you don’t need to touch the person at all. and both the person giving and the person receiving often seem to enter a meditative state. when i’m doing a session for myself, i usually rest my hands on my heart and/or my belly and leave them there. and i notice that i go deeper into meditation when doing reiki (for myself or for someone else) than i do when i meditate in general. not sure why that is, but it is what i notice.

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