i used to occasionally read something – on the web or in a book – that made me feel uncomfortable.

it almost always happened when i was reading something along the lines of this-is-how-you-should-do-x or this-is-how-you-should-be where i wasn’t doing the thing or being the thing.

for a long time, i thought the feeling meant that i had to change. in response, i would try to do the thing (or be the thing). if i couldn’t (or simply just wouldn’t), i would feel guilty and ashamed of myself for not doing the thing (or being the thing). i would also make the author wrong – either because i was doing something i didn’t want to or because anger felt better than guilt or shame.

this was so uncomfortable that i started to avoid anything i thought would contain advice or suggestions.

eventually, i realized that what the feeling really meant was that i was reading something that didn’t resonate with me. it wasn’t that i was wrong or they were wrong. the feeling was my inner guidance saying, “this is not for you”.

the interesting thing is that once i realized this, nothing i read really bothered me anymore. it became easier and easier to discern what resonated with me and what didn’t – and to take what resonated with me and discard the rest.

it took a long time for me to learn that i am an expert on me.

sometimes i still feel like i don’t know very much about myself, but it is indeed true that i know more about me than anyone else does.

that is what i want for you – for you to know that you are your own expert.

i was playing around with photoshop and made us a pinterest-friendly reminder. (i decided i can’t do this very often because i love fonts and playing with them makes me want to buy all the fonts in the world so i have them at my disposal. there are so many good ones out there!)