why, hello there!

i am happy to report that i am finally feeling much better. my tummy is back to normal and my body is almost there. hopefully elizabeth will take me for our usual walks and runs now. all this lying about is not good for a dog’s sanity.

i would, however, like to state for the record that i do not like my old harness or my new harness. i do not see why i have to wear them. elizabeth said something about necks and pain and collars but it didn’t sound important so i ignored her. i give her the big sad eyes look and stop and scratch often and make it very hard for her to put the step-in harness on. nothing seems to work. what does a dog have to do to get his way?

did you hear that i get to send out postcards! i can’t wait.

for some reason, this series makes me think of madeline l'engle, in particular, the story titled a ring of endless light (which has always been my favorite of her books, probably because it includes dolphins).

it's monday! and so, i am continuing on with the 30 days of (something).

my morning pages are still going well. most days, i seem to write between four and seven pages, and my mind feels much less cluttered. i think that the clearing is helping new ideas and epiphanies flow in, and also releasing some of my anxiety.

this past week, i spent a lot of time noticing that i was not in flow. but i also spent some time in flow, especially as it related to my business.

for example, remember the postcards from heaven? i enjoyed that offering, as did the participants, but after the third session, i set it aside for a while.

well, i was inspired last week and the postcards are back. but this time, you'll be getting postcards from atlas! if you're interested, the session starts in october.

in another example, i added a {happy surprises} postcard set to the shop. i have a stack of brand new postcards to choose from and am so excited to send them out. a number of the images are extra-special; i have never shared them on my blog. (so many photos, so little time.)

plus, i made progress on a new project and worked through some fears and blocks.

i am definitely liking this focus on flow. i enjoy feeling like i've made progress.

if you are joining in and want to check in on this post, i would love love love to hear from you. regardless, know that i am happy that we're all in this together, and am cheering you on.

(and just for fun – because i do so love mondays – use the coupon code ilovemonday at checkout for free shipping on anything in my etsy shop today.)

{my attempt to capture 52 photos that represent trust – my word for 2011}.

no words. just a quiet whisper.

andrea shared a messy parenthood story on superhero journal yesterday. it made me think of my own messy stories, especially the ones i shy away from sharing because i feel particularly embarrassed. i don't know why this is exactly, i realize that we are none of us perfect, but somehow it often feels like maybe that isn't really true. that maybe everyone else really is perfect, and i am the only exception. it sounds so silly when i say it but it feels so true in my mind. anyway, andrea inspired me to share one of my own messy stories.

atlas has the best ears. they are soft like velvet and irresistible. but he doesn't like people to touch his ears or play with his ears. ever.

when atlas first came to live with me, he was a show dog, so we had to spend some time at dog shows.

i didn't love dog shows. the weather was usually hot. there were lots and lots of dogs around. there was stress and excitement in the air. atlas had to wear a show collar and if he pulled or i pulled, it would tighten around his neck, so i didn't like to pull. it just wasn't an environment that i felt at all comfortable in.

in the midst of all of that commotion, i was a brand new dog person learning how to be a dog person and atlas was an excited clever energetic empathic weimaraner puppy.

with all the stress and excitement and heat, it was often hard to get him to listen to me. probably at least once or twice during every dog show, when i couldn't get him to listen and really needed him to listen, i would run out of ideas and options and patience. the only thing i could think to do in those moments of frustration and helplessness was to pinch one of his ears to get his attention.

instantly, my beloved puppy would give this tiny little yelp. the yelp would break my heart and i would hug him and apologize. and yet, in another moment of frustration and helplessness, i would do it again.

it still hurts my heart to think about this. and i'm pretty sure that's why he doesn't like his ears touched. (well, that and regular ear infections.)

you know, i don't really know how to end this. i don't want this to be a story with a lesson or a nice neat ending. i just want to agree that yeah, life is messy, so i guess my messy story will have a messy ending.

it's no wonder that i never know what to say when someone or something wants to know the color of atlas. he matches all sorts of colors, from browns to greys. maybe weimaraners are camouflage dogs.

the pup is on bed-rest at the moment. he's not supposed to walk except for potty-breaks, and he's definitely not supposed to run. i am thankful for the late summer heat because it keeps him sluggish. if you have ever tried to rest an extremely active and energetic dog yourself, you know that they just do not understand the concept at all.

(no need to worry. i think he'll be ok. he spent one night last week yelping with pain but it seems to be slowly easing. my guess is that it's a pulled neck or back muscle that's affecting him all over. the trouble is that i can't get him in for an adjustment until later this month and the vet thought that if it wasn't that, it might be a slipped disc, hence the reason she wanted him to really rest.)

it's the 30 days of (something)! oh, yay. i'm so glad for your company in this. you all are inspiring me.

i have to say, my morning pages are going well. i am not exactly rolling out of bed and writing, but i have written (i mean typed) every morning. there really is something about clearing the mind in the morning that lets more good stuff in. the thing i have noticed, however, is that i need to write more than three pages in order for my more unconscious thoughts to start bubbling up. around page four or so, if i write that much, something comes out that i didn't expect.

by the way, for those of you who are also doing morning pages, jamie ridler is hosting a regular check-in this month for people doing morning pages. serendipitous timing, i say!

i did finally decide on my intention (or theme) for the month. it's flow. i spent some time with flow earlier this year, but clearly it needs more time and focus. (actually, the sense i am getting right now is that flow needs to be my word for 2012.) right now, i am just trying to notice when i am not in it. this seems to be often.

if you are joining in and want to check in on this post, i would love love love to hear from you. regardless, know that i am happy that we're all in this together, and am cheering you on.

{my attempt to capture 52 photos that represent trust – my word for 2011}.

there was just something about the raindrops on the delicate tendrils that said trust to me.