Photo by Elizabeth Halt
Photo by Elizabeth Halt

rest in peace, sweet atlas

June 22, 2016

elizabethhalt.com | rest in peace, sweet atlas

{atlas: march 15, 2003 – june 15, 2016}

last wednesday, i said goodbye to my atlas pup.

when we came in from his middle-of-the-night potty run during the wee hours of tuesday morning, i sat on my bed in the dark & sobbed. somehow, i just knew.

my sweet pup was so tired, and in so much pain, and he couldn’t take care of me anymore, and it was time.

elizabethhalt.com | rest in peace, sweet atlas

i often hear things speak to me, including other dogs, but i’ve never once heard atlas.

until that moment.

in the moment when i knew, i heard his voice all around me. it was deep + wise + wonderful.

he said it’s ok.
he said i’m ready.
he said it’s time.

elizabethhalt.com | rest in peace, sweet atlas

his passage was hard + beautiful. his three favorite people – myself, my sister helen, and my mother – were in the room with him. when his legs couldn’t hold him up anymore, i laid on the floor next to him & gazed into his eyes & hugged him gently while i sang his favorite song over & over & over.

you are the puppy that i always dreamed of.
i knew it from the start.
i saw your face and that’s the last i’ve seen of my heart.

i love that song because it’s exactly true. i went to eureka to meet him and i saw his face through the screen door and i knew he was my beloved pup and he would come home with me and i would love him forever.

atlas healed my heart, and taught me about life + loyalty + love. and oh, was he loved in return.

it seems fitting, then, that we buried him in the back yard under a blanket of lilacs + forget-me-nots. (and that while i dug his grave, tears fell like rain from the heavens.)

elizabethhalt.com | rest in peace, sweet atlas

rest in peace, sweet atlas.
you were (are) my beloved pup.
i am kinder + more generous + more patient + more loving because of you.
and i will love you (more than all the stars in the sky & all the fish in the sea) forever.

25 comments... (add a comment)

  1. Nora

    I’ve followed Atlas’ journey along side you, and have loved your posts and photos of him. His spirit was brilliant, add a glow to my day each time I saw him. Thanks for writing and sharing such an intimate tribute to him. Goodbye sweet Atlas. Dream on.

  2. Oh, Elizabeth! I’m sorry. Even though the loss of your dear Atlas was not entirely unexpected, it’s such a huge one… I’m glad he could tell you he was ready, and you got to hear him in that hard moment.

    I imagine there is an Atlas-shaped hole in your life, and it must feel so big… Take good care of yourself, my dear. I’m keeping you in my thoughts and am sending all my love. {hugs}

    • elizabeth

      It is a big hole – he was always there, and now he’s not, though I am starting to feel him everywhere – but it helps to remember that it was because it was a big big love.

      Thank you, dear Josiane. I appreciate your words + thoughts + love so much.

  3. Kris

    Deepest condolences. What a love you shared.

  4. Jerry Critter

    Atlas is now at peace. May you be at peace too. I cry for you.

    • elizabeth

      Even in the hardest moments, there is peace. (I always worried that I wouldn’t know when it was time, and I did, or that I would wait too long because I just couldn’t say goodbye, and I didn’t.) Thank you.

  5. Amy N.

    What a beautiful tribute, Elizabeth. And now you have Atlas the Angel watching over you. You two are an unimaginably beautiful team. Peace.

    • elizabeth

      Atlas the angel. I love that. I know he is watching over me, because he keeps sending me blue jay feathers. <3

      (I do like to picture him with wings, flying closely behind a kitty.)

  6. Much love to you and your beautiful pup!

  7. Brita

    Much love! What a sweet time of year for your good bye.

  8. julie

    Oh, I knew I would cry when I read this. I feel your pain and also your great love through the screen. What a beautiful story your lives were together. Thank you for sharing him with us! I really loved his wise, adventurous, humor-filled Atlas page. Sometimes, I nearly forgot that a human was doing the writing. XO

    • elizabeth

      As Atlas would say, “That’s only because I didn’t have opposable thumbs! The content was all mine.”

      Thank you for being here, with us. <3

  9. oh dearest Elizabeth.
    i have no words.
    i wish my tears would stop.
    it’s hard.
    but you have beautiful memories forever.
    and you did the right thing for your beloved silver puppy.
    love you. both. always.
    tam

  10. Jerry Critter

    Here is something I came across on Facebok today.

    https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1205544846125285&set=gm.496302480494385&type=3

    The final paragraph made me think of you and Atlas.

  11. Oh, Elizabeth… my heart feels so heavy for you. I’m so so sorry for the loss of your beloved Atlas. He was such a beautiful soul, and the connection you shared was so very special and heartwarming. You are in my thoughts, my dear friend. I will go for a walk in the trees today for Atlas… and for you. Much love, my friend. xoxoxoxo

  12. I LOVE that last picture. Just love.

  13. Lynne

    I’m so sorry for your loss Elisabeth. On July 15 I said my last see you soon to one of my girls. We sat outside under a tree as we said good bye, my heart broke and it continues to break. We love them so. <3

    • elizabeth

      Thank you. I am sorry for yours. Our furry friends are so dear; it is hard to say goodbye to their (physical) presence in our lives.

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