Photo by Elizabeth Halt
Photo by Elizabeth Halt

the current state of my garden

February 22, 2014

a week ago, i had a beautiful moment of clarity, a moment in which everything i do here finally made perfect sense.

the journey to wholeness isn’t always easy & we need places of beauty where we can pause along the way.

places that water our soul.
places that nourish our spirit.
places that reflect the wonder of our own self back to us, in new & different ways.

my intention for this space is that it be one of those places for you, if and when you need it.

everything i do comes from that.

in an unexpected twist, i learned that my web hosting will expire soon & i do not have the money to continue.

for a moment, the thought made me sad. i love this space. it is full of love + care + beauty.

i am proud of the work i’ve done here, and it would be hard to say goodbye.

i was inquiring whether i would lose my years of work in the process when a friend asked whether i was accepting donations to continue.

in thinking about it, i realized something. i planned to tell you about my departure beforehand – because i didn’t want to simply disappear – but not in a way that invited you in.

i think that i should be able to do everything on my own. when i cannot, i don’t want to share. i see my not-knowing, my perceived failure, as a weakness.

the real weakness is that i am unwilling to allow myself to be vulnerable in that way, to ask for or receive help, to let people in.

when i ask for guidance lately, the answer is always: be still and know that all is well.

and so it is.

whatever life may look like on the outside, when i come home to my center, i know that all is well and everything is unfolding as it should.

there is a piece in a book called the holographic universe that i really like.

“In his general theory of relativity Einstein astounded the world when he said that space and time are not separate entities, but are smoothly linked and part of a larger whole he called the space-time continuum. Bohm takes this idea a giant step further. He says that everything in the universe is part of a continuum. Despite the apparent separateness of things at the explicate level, everything is a seamless extension of everything else, and ultimately even the implicate and explicate orders blend into each other.

Take a moment to consider this. Look at your hand. Now look at the light streaming from the lamp beside you. And at the dog resting at your feet. You are not merely made of the same things. You are the same thing. One thing. Unbroken. One enormous something that has extended its uncountable arms and appendages into all the apparent objects, atoms, restless oceans, and twinkling stars in the cosmos.”

one enormous something. yes.

you & me & atlas are each tiny pieces of the whole.

i don’t have to be here, in this place, to water your soul, to be connected.

in a way that i cannot describe or explain – but that i know deep down in my bones – we really are all one.

with that said, i would love to keep this garden in bloom & i could use your help.

here are three specific ways you can help. if you want to, of course! (i’m hoping you do.)

  • pass my story club page along to anyone you know who appreciates stories of wonder + whimsy.
  • share my etsy shoppe with someone who needs cards, or postcards, or creative + unique gift ideas.
  • send prayers, well wishes, and love.

in case you’d like to make a donation toward my web hosting fees, here’s a handy dandy way to do so. (it’s $260 for two more years.)

your presence means the world to me.

i am so glad you are here.

8 comments... (add a comment)

  1. Dear Elizabeth… Your light here brings such joy! Very much this place of yours has been that–a place for refreshment amidst all the ups & downs of life. And like, I do believe we’re all in this together. I hope very much you will be able to stay around here. In a way I know the feeling. I’m releasing a lot of things that cost even a little but add up over a year–all this online presence costs (in lots of different way–money-wise, time-wise, spirit-wise…) I can’t afford all the extras. And this year I’m needing to reduce my own blog-fees, and things will have to be much more simple. I admire you courage to ask for help. Thank you for being here. :o) ((LOVE & HUGS))

    • elizabeth

      Thank you, dear Tracy. I so appreciate your presence here. You radiate joy + presence + kindness. I always feel so centered after reading something of yours – whether it’s a comment or a blog post. If there is anything I can do to support you, please let me know!

  2. elizabeth

    I am feeling overwhelmed with appreciation at the outpouring of support. So thank you, thank you, thank you. I wish I had the right words to say more.

  3. we cannot and will not lose you.
    how could you think that for even one moment!
    watch the mail.

  4. Amy

    I’m happy to support your web presence. I find great comfort in your images and words of beauty. And I’m also please to support your vulnerability in asking for help. I know that’s hard. Hugs!

  5. elizabeth

    Tammy: You know I love mail! I will watch with glee. Thank you for being here.

    Amy: It is a little easier every time, so I guess the asking is also its own reward. Hand on heart thank you. I am so glad you find comfort here.

  6. Elizabeth, I’m remembering way back when, in the hallway of the beach house at Unearth, when I was just toying with the idea of a blog and you were telling me how you posted something almost every day. I was a little astounded by that, but encouraged… and decided to step into it. Here I am 427 posts later. It might never have happened without that conversation. So, yes, we have to support each other! Your voice and message is completely unique and there would be a huge void here without it.
    I get how hard it is to ask for help. Just please believe that the help that comes comes from love and goodness and not any kind of pity. You deserve it just by being you. It’s all good and all WILL be well.

    • elizabeth

      I’m so glad you did! We are (I am) so much richer because of it. You have such an eye for the beauty + magnificence of our world. 427 posts – Wow! You rock.

      And oh yes, I know. The ask came with trust + love + permission, so I trust that any help + support that arrives comes from the same.

      All will be well. All is well.

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